


Sun and Moon

by Hyoro



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming to turns with death, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Mental Health Issues, My First Fanfic, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-War, Romance, SasuNaru - Freeform, Sasuke's Story included but in Naruto POV, Shikamaru's Story mention, Slow Burn, canon excluding chapter 700, moving on from the war, no naruhina, no sasusaku, some filler characters will be brought back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:41:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27499588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyoro/pseuds/Hyoro
Summary: Months have passed since the end of the Fourth Shinobi War and Naruto is doing anything but fine. He managed to save his best friend, Sasuke, just like he always wanted to, but at what price? He's praised as a hero, but why does he not feel like one? Why is he plagued by nightmares of his dead comrades? And then there are the feelings he's had for his best friend since forever that have started bubbling to the surface; maybe there is no hiding them anymore.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Rock Lee, Hyuuga Hinata/Tenten, Nara Shikamaru/Temari, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 30
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me, it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.  
> Warning: This chapter contains mentions/portrayal of mental illness.  
> I hope I haven't gotten anything wrong, if I have, please do let me know. It's my first time writing a fanfiction and I'm not sure how to go about writing the disclaimers or warnings

Naruto woke up, drenched in sweat; his ears ringing, vision blurry, gasping for a breath of fresh air. It has been months since the war has ended and yet the phantoms still haunt him. They won’t leave him alone. So many of his friends died; he couldn’t save any of them. The explosions, the blood, the screams haunt him every night. 

People hail him a hero. A hero that couldn’t save Neji, who was one of his closest friends, as he took his last breath in front of Naruto’s very eyes. A hero, nonetheless. There is not a day when he doesn’t remember all those who have died, he recites their names like a prayer almost every day before bed. 

They will only die when they’re forgotten, and Naruto won’t let that happen. 

He’s supposed to be a hero, so why does he not feel like one? Everyone treats him like he is. He saved so many people during the war, the war that was ended by him and his friends. 

A war that was started because of him. 

He should be basking in all the glory, he should, but he can’t. The reality won’t let him. The nightmares won’t. He won’t let himself. He knows very well that he shouldn’t blame himself for all those brilliant shinobi dying, yet he can’t help but imagine if only he could have done more, if only he was stronger sooner. Maybe then he would have been able to save Sasuke sooner. It was too late now, though. 

Sighing, Naruto used his left hand to wipe the sweat dripping from his chin and got out of bed. His legs shook as he walked over to his bathroom. The lights flickered on, stinging his eyes. The cramped room provided little comfort, as did the rest of his tiny apartment. Even as the hero he couldn’t afford anything more . . . comfortable. 

After Pain’s attack, his previous (equally small) apartment got levelled to the ground, and then he was busy with everything else, so in the end, he could only afford this small place with the budget he had at hand. Naruto hadn’t bothered with trying for something better. There was no point, he only came back to his house to sleep, and that only took a measly four hours. He preferred not to be alone. 

Reaching out with his right hand to open the tap, realisation struck him. He could feel it, could feel himself extending it, the cold metal brushing against his skin, the pressure required to open the tap . . . and yet, nothing. The sensations nothing but a fragment of his imagination. A mere phantom. There was no right arm. 

Frustrated, Naruto reached out his left hand and successfully accomplished what he has just failed. Coldwater splashed on his face, waking him up, clearing up his mind. When he looked up, he was finally able to see his reflection properly. 

The dark bags under his eyes did nothing but make him look like he didn’t get a blink of sleep for a few days. Unlike the usual energetic blue, a pair of empty blue eyes met his own. He will have to change that before he goes in for his appointment with Sakura today. 

Walking out of the bathroom, he looked for some indication of what time it is. He didn’t bother with an alarm clock; he didn’t need one. Looking outside the window, it was still pitch black, but that could be deceptive, it was that time of the year, after all, where the world was swallowed up by darkness for 16 out of the 24 hours. He checked the clock, 5 am, four hours until his appointment. He couldn’t go back to sleep; he wasn’t tired. 

After getting dressed in his usual attire, he ate his breakfast – ramen – and left, not bothering to lock his door. There was no point, who would rob him? No, that’s wrong. There was nothing worth robbing. His most precious items consisted of the Team 7 photograph, everything else was insignificant. Until recently, he was never at his house, anyway. Always out on missions and all that. He had no time. 

When he left, the cold air hit him, nipped at his exposed skin, threatening to freeze him if he didn’t retreat into his house. He didn’t listen. His hands – hand – found its way into his pocket, the only source of warmth on him. It wasn’t even that cold, it was still autumn, so with all the cold air, there were still traces of warmth. Or there should have been. The street lamps were lit as he walked down the street. 

Ever since Kakashi-sensei became the 6th Hokage, he aimed to improve the village, so he introduced the Street Light Scheme (very original, Naruto thought, rolling his eyes as he remembered Kakashi-sensei’s proud expression when he had first announced it). The streetlights would be turned on at 5 pm until midnight, when most people finished work, and would be turned off – to save energy, Kakashi-sensei explained – until 5 am, where they would be turned back on for another four hours before being shut off again until the next scheduled time. It’s what it was decided for the two darker seasons of the year. 

Naruto decided to stop by the local konbini while he walked past. He wanted something sweet. While the weather outside wasn’t exactly suitable for it, Naruto decided on a blueberry flavoured ice lolly – Ero Sennin’s favourite. 

Without opening it, Naruto walked to his usual spot on the hill, the bench where he could see the entire village in all its glory. Once he got there, he snapped the lolly in two and placed the second half on the bench next to him as he took his time eating his half. 

The stars were much more visible from up there. The moon shone brilliantly, big enough to give Naruto the impression that if only he reached out his hand to touch it, he would be able to feel it, squeeze it in his hand. Naruto knew it was just an illusion, though. The moment he would reach his hand out to try and get that tiny bit closer, grazing his fingers against the surface, he’d be dawned with the realisation that the moon would forever be out of his reach. That the closer he tried to get to it, the further away it would get, almost mocking him with the fact that Naruto had no power over it. The forever elusive existence. Just like Sasuke has always been; still seems to be. 

Naruto may have succeeded in bringing Sasuke back to Konoha, but after his name was cleared and he was accepted back to the village, he went on a long mission and Naruto hasn’t heard a single word from him ever since. That was half a year ago. Sixth months. Four months after the war ended. 

Naruto, the hero who saved the day. Naruto, the person who fulfilled his dream of bringing his best friend back home. Naruto, who now sat alone with an ice lolly melting next to him on this cold September morning. Somehow, he felt that even though he accomplished so much, he is in a worse place than before. Mentally. 

By the time Naruto decided it was time to leave, his nose was already red from the cold, his fingers felt almost warm in the chilly air. The ice lolly has long since melted, anyone who came to sit down on this bench will surely curse out the person who left it in such a mess, Naruto didn’t care. He was not about to stop this little ritual of his anytime soon.   
Feeling ready for the world – as ready as he could – he walked down the hill with fake confidence. 

A wide grin gracing his face whenever someone greeted him. They were all strangers to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to ignore them when they smiled at him. It may have been the fact that ever since he was a kid he longed to be accepted, and now that he has, he didn’t want to ruin it. Or he was an ass kisser, as Sasuke would have put it. 

Sasuke, who has once again left him all alone. 

That was a lie. Naruto wasn’t alone. There were many people by his side, people he considered his good friends. Sakura, Shikamaru, Sai, Chouji, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Ino, Tenten, Bushy Brows, Gaara, Tsunade-baa-chan, Kakashi-sensei, all these people who care about him, and yet, he can’t help but feel lost whenever he thinks of being left behind by the person he cares so much about. He knows that Sasuke doesn’t care for him as much as Naruto cares for the other, he’s aware that the feelings he has for that bastard will never be reciprocated. That much is certain, after all the times that Sasuke tried to kill him; both even lost an arm after such a fight. The last was the worst it ever got, yet it helped Naruto to accomplish his dream. An arm was a small price to pay to be able to finally bring his best friend back home.

Somehow, Naruto never gave up in his quest to bring Sasuke back, even after everything has happened, he still wants Sasuke to acknowledge him. At least, he did. Until Sasuke left. Arguably, it was for a mission, but long before that, ever since they last fought, Sasuke has been ignoring Naruto. Has been pretending that Naruto simply did not exist. It hurt. 

All these feelings just seemed to pile on top of the rubbish pile in his mind that Naruto would rather ignore. Always attempting to shove them all under the metaphorical bed, or even the wardrobe. He knows it’s not a solution that will work for long, but he doesn’t feel like talking with anyone about his feelings. He’d rather not worry his friends; they’re busy enough as it is without the extra baggage. Plus, Naruto always dealt with his silly mood swings on his own, anyway. 

Until they became too much. The thought intruded his mind. He chose to ignore it. It wasn’t important, he was in control of his strength now, so he won’t hurt any of his friends by losing control. What happened with Sakura on that bridge will never happen again. Ever. 

Back then, it was anger and the Naruto now is not angry, after all. Now there is no Kyuubi trying to take control over him. Especially now, when Kurama is sleeping, taking a long-deserved rest after having his chakra drained during the war and the fight that proceeded it. 

Naruto didn’t need any help. He could manage on his own as he has for the past 17 plus years of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto has an appointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it would be interesting to include the events from the 484-493 filler episodes but from Naruto's POV. Of course, I won't be going into much detail, just thought it would be cool to use "Sasuke's Story" and "Shikamaru's Story" to help develop some of the side characters in this fanfic. But this is for the future chapters, I thought I'd give you all a heads up, in case you may want to rewatch those episodes (like I did).
> 
> Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns Naruto, not me.

Sakura was already waiting for him by the nurse’s station when he arrived. It looked like she’d only just arrived as well. She held her bag in one hand and was still wearing her coat and pink scarf. 

Naruto doubted that he’ll ever get used to the brightness of a hospital, or its smell. Oh god, the smell. Having spent enough time in one throughout his life, Naruto would have preferred to limit his time here. 

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto beamed as he approached, startling Sakura, who had not noticed his entrance.

“Naruto, you scared me!” Grinning, she slapped him lightly across his shoulder. “Now come on.” It seemed like she was having a great morning, her eyes were twinkling as she looked at Naruto and the grin would not leave her face as she pulled him along to the examination room.

“Sakura-chan, what are you in such a rush for? I’m not going anywhere.” Not being able to hold the bubbling laughter rumbling in his chest, he finally let it out, alas, a hint of nervousness was present. Naruto wasn’t sure what he should expect of this check-up. Sakura didn’t tell him anything other than she had good news.

“How have you been feeling recently? Any pain?” Naruto tilted his head to the side, thinking about it before deciding it was better, to tell the truth.

“Sometimes, but it’s not too bad. What’s worse is when it tickles and I can’t scratch it, Sakura-chan! Do you know how that feels like? There is nothing to be itchy! Nothing but air! And yet! So exhausting, can you get rid of it?” Naruto flailed his arm around in grand gestures, eyes wide as he recalled his experience.

“That’s normal. A lot of shinobi who lose a limb experience phantom sensation such as itchiness; sometimes it’s pain, other times it makes them feel like they’re actually touching objects.” Sakura explained in a professional manner. She didn’t look at his face as she started examining his body. Her chakra pulsed through his body, his muscles, organs; checking his heartbeat, temperature, if his wounds healed properly. If something was amiss, it would not escape her keen mind.

“Good! You seem healthy.” Clapping her hands, she looked Naruto in the eyes with a big grin on her face.

“Oh, so, can I go now, then? Since you’re done.” Without having to express his feelings regarding the matter directly, Sakura already knew about Naruto’s hatred and evasion of hospitals so before he could even take a step outside of the examination room, she pulled him onto a chair.

“You can’t! Sit!” Whenever she used her serious tone, Naruto was more likely to follow instructions – years of being friends has taught him that sometimes, it’s better to just be obedient. “I have some good news for you.”

The pause did not help to quell the sudden excitement Naruto felt building up in his stomach. Good news? That could only mean one of two things. The first one, Sasuke’s return, was unlikely. But the second . . . 

“You know that we have been experimenting with the Hashirama cells we took from the white Zetsu’s, right?” Seeing his nod, she continued, “After seeing the effect they had on Obito, we thought it might be possible to mould them into limbs, which, once attached, would be fully functional. As if they never lost the limb in the first place.” 

“Does that mean that I’ll – we’ll – be able to get our arms back?!” The excitement rose a couple of levels, Naruto’s eyes widened and twinkled in the brightly lit room; he couldn’t sit still and jumped to his feet, his hand jittery from all the emotions he felt. It wasn’t just about him getting back his arm, it was the fact that Sasuke will be able to have his as well.

“Hopefully. You’ll be the first person that we will try this on; you are our best option with your quick regeneration.” Sakura smiled knowingly. “After checking your condition, I am fairly confident that this has a high chance of success; we already checked to see if it is even possible through the samples we collected from you during the last visit. While there will be initial side-effects once the arm is attached, they will subside and disappear over time. We can proceed whenever you feel mentally prepared for it; you’re in perfect health to be put on the table at any moment.”

“Mentally? What should I be hesitant about? I’m always ready!” He wasn’t sure what she meant. Why wouldn’t he want his arm back? Finally, to be able to function properly. It was hard enough as it is in training, and then again when he returned to his shinobi duties. It was less than perfect; Naruto was lucky that he heals fast and learns from his mistakes. Naturally, he wanted his arm back!

“Well, if you’re sure.” Sakura sounded exasperated. “But please, think about it. Not everyone would be comfortable having a foreign limb attached to them, even if it’s only subconsciously. It might take a while for you to get used to it, and it will be painful in the first few weeks. Maybe even months.” Her hand was rubbing her forehead, facing away from Naruto and filling out some paperwork.

“You don’t understand, Sakura-chan. Do you know how hard it is to do stuff with my left hand? Only my left hand. I’m right-handed! I never learned to do things with my left hand! Plus, it’s really difficult, you know . . .” He formed a fist with his left hand and proceeded to make smooth up and down motions when Sakura looked at him inquisitively. 

“Naruto! Don’t be crude!” She smacked his shoulder, a smile returning to her face. 

“Don’t worry, Sakura-chan! I’ll be fine, I really need this. You know I’ve never been good at learning. I’ve been making so many mistakes recently!” He continued, “Can it be done today? You made me so excited about this, so you can’t make me wait long.”

“Tsunade-sama said you’d be like this.” A heavy sigh escaped her lips and a slight smile graces her soft features. “So, we were ready in case you wanted to rush it. We can start this afternoon. I’ll explain the rest of the details to you then. If I tell you now, you’ll just forget.”

Naruto scratched the back of his head and a goofy grin bloomed on his face. The golden hair enveloped his fingers, he needed to get it cut. “You know me so well, Sakura-chan.” He said, moving towards the door. “Can I go now? I’ll be back in the afternoon.” Already having enough of the ever-present, heavy sterile smell perturbing the air, Naruto was worried that it soaked through his clothes already. He hoped it didn’t. The last thing he needed now was to have to wash the otherwise clean clothes that he had bought a couple of days ago.

“Can’t you be patient for once? But yes, you can go now. I’ll have everything ready for the afternoon; Shizune-san will be there to help, too.” Naruto didn’t need to be told twice; he was already out of the room after saying his goodbyes before Sakura could bid hers. 

***  
Compared to the morning, the temperature during midday has increased enough to make the cold bearable without the need for extra layers. If it was a few weeks ago, it would be possible to see the forest surrounding the Hidden Leaf burning red around the village, but the leaves have already lost their vibrance and have already become a cooler orange. It won’t be long before they were all coating the ground.

Naruto couldn’t help but wonder where Sasuke was. Was it a place where the horizon was covered with a warm blanket of snow? Or was he under the scorching sun? Surrounded by the coarse sand, which only reflected the sun’s heat? Maybe he was by the seaside. That would be nice. 

For once, Naruto didn’t have much work to attend to for the day, so he came to the rooftop of the Hokage Tower to relax before he headed out for his next appointment. For the past few months his schedule was jam-packed with all sorts of missions; from paperwork to missions outside the village and sometimes even outside of the country. He didn’t mind it, though. After travelling for so many years with the Pervy Sage, he found it relaxing, interesting, even. Even now – as a force of habit more than anything else – his eyes would wander, searching for possible interesting plot points that he could inform the Sage about, which the Perv would be able to use in his next novel. But there would be no next volume; there was no need to look out for anything interesting, anymore.

Making his way through the Hokage Tower, Naruto was greeted by everyone. There was a lot of new young staff, some were fresh out of the academy and were shadowing the senior workers. 

The village has been receiving a lot of requests for the past few months, on top of all the other responsibilities that have only grown since the end of the war. They were short-staffed in almost every department. A lot of shinobi were out of the village on missions, the newer shinobi generally received the role of patrolling the streets if there wasn’t a mission from the lower ranks available.

Being so understaffed, Naruto worried about the Sixth Hokage’s right-hand man, Shikamaru. He would never admit it, but Naruto knew that despite his complaints and laziness, once he put himself up to it, the man was a workaholic. One that didn’t pay much attention to his health. It had Naruto worried. 

He knocked on the dark wooden door once and walked in. “Hey, Shikamaru.” Naruto could barely see Shikamaru, who was hidden behind a large pile of paperwork. “Come on man, take a break. Ichiraku Ramen is waiting for us.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto goes out for food with Shikamaru. Gets a new arm, you know, the usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
> 
> I already started nudging at the post-war Shikamaru filler arc, I plan to start including the Sasuke one, but obviously, they will be happening simultaneously, rather than two years apart

“How are you, Shikamaru?” Naruto didn’t want to say it, but the man looked like death on legs. The black bags under his eyes only served to emphasise his otherwise pale skin. “Have you been sleeping, like, at all?”

All he received in reply was a long sigh. Shikamaru sat by the booth at Ichiraku, heavy head supported by his hand, as if the world’s entire weight rested inside his head. Naruto knew that Shikamaru worked a lot, but this was more than overworking. He looked as if he hasn’t gotten any sleep for the past few days.

“I’ve been working a lot, that’s all. What else could it be?”

“So it’s true! You do answer a question with a question if you’re lying!” Temari was right, as always when it came to Shikamaru. She knew him as well as the back of her hand; could navigate him as easily as she could the desert she grew up in. He couldn’t hide anything from her. 

When she last visited, nearly a month ago now, for the Five Kage Summit, she was worried about Shikamaru. He was already overworking himself at that point, but no matter how much she tried talking to him (or nagging), he would not budge. Instead, she approached Naruto to ask him to try and speak some sense into the head of the Nara clan. Even up to this day, Naruto wasn’t sure why she asked him, of all people. While the two were close friends, possibly even best friends – Naruto hoped that Shikamaru considered him one as well – but Naruto knew that the other had two people that he was closer with, and in the end, he might not make the cut.

“No one’s been the same since the war ended. A lot happened, too much, in a span of two days. But I’ll be fine soon, I just need to get back into the flow of normal life.” Shikamaru was hesitant. Unsure of himself, or even of what he really felt. He watched his teacher die, watched so many of his friends and allies be forced to their eternal sleep. It might be the upcoming mission, but he was even plagued by his failure as a team leader from so many years ago. 

Every time he closed his eyes, he’d be able to see them all lying, half dead, on operation tables. Neji with a whole the size of Akamaru in his chest; Choji who had lost so much weight and burned himself out; Kiba and Akamaru beaten black and blue, barely holding on, and yet, Shikamaru made it out in a much better condition than any of them. But those weren’t insecurities that he was comfortable, or even willing, to voice out. He was not willing to let them see the light of day. Unsure of why such old memories started haunting him again, Shikamaru tried to brush them away. 

Naruto heard the finality in his voice, knowing that Shikamaru was not willing to say any more and he wasn’t going to push him. 

“How are you and Temari doing, then?” Naruto wiggled his eyebrows at Shikamaru, trying to lighten the mood up. Everyone in their friend group was aware of the looks that the two exchanged between each other every time they’re together. Yet, somehow, there hasn’t seemed to be any progress in their relationship. Everyone hoped that the pair wouldn’t be stuck at the friendship stage forever. “Have you seen each other since the last Kage Summit?” The next one was rapidly approaching, a mere week away.

It was as if Shikamaru’s face was set on fire, with how rapidly the red blush spread, even to the tips of his ears. Naruto half expected steam to come chasing out of his ears. A sly grin erupted on Naruto’s face.

“Nothing happened between us!” Like an ostrich burying its head in the ground, Shikamaru hid his face behind his hands. He was never the relationship sort of person, in fact, he actively avoided them. Whether it was because the emotions he held for Temari started brewing all those years ago during the chunin exams, or if it was truly due to the fact that he preferred to laze around in his free time rather than sharing it with more people than he already did, he was unsure. 

“You obviously love her, so why don’t you just invite her out on a date the next time you see her?” Naruto didn’t understand. The two obviously had feelings for one another, they were both confident individuals as well, so what was the problem? For some reason, they’ve been tiptoeing around each other every time, not getting too close but not straying too far either. 

“How are your missions going? You probably have a lot on your plate.” Shikamaru went back to eating, obviously not paying Naruto’s earlier question any mind. The truth was, he held no confidence in himself. How can he? He’s not strong enough. What’s the point of being smart if you can’t prevent your teammates, friends, from getting hurt? This is why he prefers to work alone. He doesn’t have to worry about others, or whether they’ll follow orders.

“Don’t get me started on them. Kakashi-sensei is running me dry, ya know?! If I’m not out on missions, I’m doing his paperwork! How is that fair?” Naruto slurped all remaining ramen from his bowl before leaning back in the seat, satisfied. He didn’t mind Shikamaru changing topics at such a rapid pace. Knowing that Shikamaru wouldn’t open up until he was ready, Naruto let it go. He didn’t want to force his friend, he already had enough on his plate.

“At the very least, you’ll know how to and will have the experience of doing the paperwork when you become the hokage.” Finishing his remaining tea, Shikamaru paid before getting up to leave. Naruto’s footsteps followed behind his, their small conversations continued up until they made it to the Hokage Tower. Break time was over, it was time to return to work.

+++

“It might hurt for a while, but that’s normal. It will heal faster than usual, so there shouldn’t be much of an issue, just make sure to keep me updated on it. You’ll be able to start physical therapy once the wound has healed. But before that, don’t put any pressure on it. That means no training, fighting or even moving that arm.” Sakura continued to instruct Naruto on how to take care of his new arm. Naruto listened with a keen ear, he was sure that it’ll all be fine anyway, but it was better to beware in case anything did go wrong. 

Even if it did, he could always come to Sakura for help. Or Kurama could help him heal the wound. 

“I got it, Sakura-chan.” Naruto honestly doubted that he’d be able to remember any more information. 

“Remember, take a few days off and no physically draining missions. Preferably, just stay with paperwork until I give you the go-ahead.” 

“Ok, no missions. I’ve got it.” He was ready to leave. The dread has already made his face numb if the constant smiling hasn’t done it first. 

“Just, be careful. Tell me whenever you’re in pain.” Naruto didn’t understand. Sakura already prescribed him some pills to dull the pain, what was the point of informing her each time? He could just take the pills.

“I will, you know I don’t like to worry you.” If it came to it, he’ll have to make sure to catch her when she’s off work. He has officially had enough of hospitals for the next while. 

Before he managed to leave, Naruto somehow managed to get another earful about taking care of his new arm from Shizune-san. What was she doing here, anyway? Wasn’t she supposed to be travelling with Tsunade-baa-cha, anyway? Or was she here to see how the operation goes? She should’ve been one of the medics working on the Hashirama cells. Naruto wasn’t sure, he never kept up with such news. There was no point keeping track of it all if he understood none of it, he’ll probably have to learn for when he’s the Hokage, though. 

Naruto made his way back to the Hokage Tower so that he could finish the remaining paperwork he had for the day. While he was told to rest, Naruto figured that filling out paperwork wouldn’t cause any harm. He had nothing else to do anyway, so it would be better to get ahead with the work that never seems to end. 

There have been mountains of paperwork since the war ended, and even months after, there is still a lot to do. Mission requests are constantly coming in, especially from landowners who need help rebuilding their homes and property. There are still the rogue shinobi that need to be taken care of, too. While Sasuke sends any intel he finds during his travels, they are far and few in between. Majority of the time, he manages to take care of the situation himself so the intel he sends is mostly of the report nature. 

Kakashi-sensei doesn’t help. He disappears for most of the day and even when he is in his office, he hardly ever does his work, showing his preference for re-reading the erotic novels he has read hundreds of times over the years. Naruto should make him deal with the shinobi applications that keep coming in, now that they have finished their training.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some thoughts. Decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for such a late (and shorter than usual) update, I had a few assignments due in last week so I was delayed. I could have written more, but I thought it was a funny note to end it on. I'll try to write more for the next chapter to make up for this shorter one. I'll proof the chapter during the day, so I apologise for any mistakes in advance. Hope you all enjoy the chapter! 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters!

A week has passed, and it was already time for the Kage Summit. This month, it was being hosted in the Leaf village. The work piled on more than usual, there were the general preparations that needed to be taken care of on top of all the other paperwork that had to go towards the meeting. Suffice to say, everyone in the building has been busy for the past couple of days. 

Worst of all, Kakashi chose to disappear somewhere before the meeting was supposed to begin. That left Shikamaru with no other choice but to take his place, once again. He thought that it may be different this time, as Kakashi didn’t have to travel to any of the other hidden villages, but apparently that wasn’t the issue.

Luckily, Shikamaru and Naruto worked together in compiling all the relevant documents so either of them could take Kakashi’s place whenever the need arose, and that it did. Shikamaru being the assistant to the Hokage, he had no choice but to attend it in the former’s place. Naruto couldn’t help but feel relieved at this, he was nowhere near as confident or relaxed about this matter as Shikamaru was. It couldn’t be helped; he lacked the experience that the other had. 

Naruto would naturally learn over time, so he was in no rush to add the extra work onto his already full plate. He had enough precious experience to know better than to eat more than he could possibly managed. It just didn’t mean that he learned from it. 

Plus, he preferred going outside of the village to missions, rather than staying cooped inside all the time. He would never be able to get the same thrill out of doing paperwork as he did in fights. All too aware that one should normally fear for their lives while in battle, Naruto chalked it up to it being because the majority of the missions he has been on since he was twelve required him to put his own life at risk. 

The thrill of his life rocking on the tip of the blade might have become like an addicting drug to him; the sweet sweet smell of smoke, the clang of blades and the sparks, flashes of light brought immense joy to his heart. How envious he was of Sasuke who was constantly travelling, discovering the world. 

Naturally, Naruto understood why Sasuke chose to do such a thing and it wasn’t something that he was jealous of. In contrast, he felt bad. Don’t get it wrong, Naruto didn’t pity Sasuke – he knew better than that – at all, or so he claimed, because he didn’t actually know what to call it. He wasn’t good with words or expressing himself. He just didn’t want to refer to it as pity, he didn’t want to feel like that towards the other.

Since there was still quite some time before Naruto was to become Hokage, he took advantage of all of the opportunities that were handed to him and travelled everywhere he could for his missions. One day, Naruto hoped to become like Jiraiya, even if it was for a moment. 

With Shikamaru attending the meeting, Naruto chose to take the rest of the day off in favour of training, or, as Sakura called it, rehabilitation. He was aware that he wasn’t to do anything extreme with his new arm, but he didn’t like how helpless he felt. It started with moving his fingers, up down, side to side then bending. Then wrist, entire length of the arm then everything simultaneously, those seemed easy, he practised moving his fingers and wrist throughout the day whenever he was doing any paperwork, the arm during breaks. 

It took a few days to actually get any of the joints moving though. Initially, he had no real feeling of the new limb, so it was infuriatingly difficult for the impatient Naruto to finally move a finger properly, after that it only got easier. Or so he’d like to say. It was a slow process and a mere week has passed since the operation, Sakura said he was already doing really well with how far he got, he just wasn’t satisfied. It was taking too long.

Determined, Naruto made his way to the training grounds furthest away from the village. Due to the distance, it was most likely that there will be little to no people there, so he won’t be disturbed. He wasn’t planning on going big, just to practice some taijutsu, he needed to get used to his new arm as soon as possible so that he didn’t become a nuisance during missions. What was the point of having an arm if he couldn’t use it?

With Sakura’s warning not to strain his arm, Naruto decided on a couple of matches against his clone. Then he’ll be able to relax for the rest of the day. Maybe practice writing with his right hand, with his left hand, it looked like an academy student’s handwriting. 

Once he arrived, Naruto was relieved to find that there was no one else there. No one to witness the embarrassment that was sure to be bestowed upon him each time he failed. He should be used to it by now, but the feeling of shame that rose within him each time he failed didn’t make for a good companion. Motivator, on the other hand, possibly. 

+++

By the time Naruto finished, it was already getting dark. Not to say it was late, but with the sun gone, it was getting cold. Covered in sweat and with his energy drained, Naruto made his way back home. Or so he’d like to say, but through all his seventeen-plus years of living, he never actually learned to cook anything other than ramen, so he made his way to Ichiraku Ramen first. Then he’d go home.

He hoped that he’ll meet a friend on the way, though. That way he wouldn’t have to be at home for too long, there was just nothing for him to do. Other than clean, but he didn’t feel like doing it now. It wasn’t that dirty, anyway.

The chilly air helped him cool down, so it was a pleasant walk back. If only it was a couple of months back, when summer had just begun, the whole area would be lit by numberless fireflies. With the backdrop of darkness, they’d look like stars twinkling in the sky.

With only the darkness to guide him, Naruto walked leisurely back home. It wasn’t even the evening yet and it was already so dark. Since normal civilians had no need to stray that far into the training fields, it was unnecessary to have streetlamps installed. There weren’t that many shinobi who came to train here, they all preferred the fields that were closer to the village since it would save them time to travel, they were busy enough as it was and they would rather spend a little more time training than traveling. 

He wandered how the Hyuga were doing, especially Hinata, after the loss of Neji. Naruto felt too guilty to face any of them so he avoided them as much as he possibly could. Neji died protecting him, after all. Hinata nearly did, too. Naruto knew that she tended to bottle herself up, she wasn’t one to talk to others about her emotions. Neji was one of the only people that she actually opened up to, but who did she have now that he was gone?

Naruto knew that, as her friend, he should try and console her, talk to her. He shouldn’t be so selfish and only think about his own feelings, especially since she must be hurting much more than he was. 

Right! Naruto decided with renowned confidence; he was going to pay Hinata a visit with the next chance he had. Maybe he should ask a few other of their friends out for dinner, too? That way they could all cheer her up. Yes, she would probably like that. As shy as she was, Naruto was aware just how much she cared for her friends. After all, she nearly died protecting him when the village was attacked. Naruto was glad to have her as a friend.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto does some paperwork.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I'm so sorry for the super late chapter, I had a lot of deadlines to meet on top of the whole Christmas thing. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! Any mental illnesses depicted in this story are misrepresented, I hold no firsthand experience or knowledge and therefore am not qualified to represent them accurately, so I avoid even giving any of them names to avoid any further misrepresentation.
> 
> Possible TW

Life didn’t always go according to plan. Naruto was very much aware of this, yet he wasn’t quite expecting it this time around. Not only did he find himself buried in large amounts of work, but he also had rehabilitation to attend to in his spare time. At the end of the long winter days, he had no energy left to move, never mind the will to socialise. 

If Sasuke was there, he’d definitely mock Naruto for that. 

Naruto? Too tired to socialise? 

Naruto could almost hear Sasuke’s signature mocking grunt followed by that cocky smile of his. Thankfully, that bastard wasn’t here to witness the state that Naruto found himself in. While it was not a bad one – at least he did not see it as such – it was very much unlike his normal self and Naruto hated when people asked him questions. 

With Shikamaru gone for a mission, Naruto had to take over some of his paperwork. Unlike him, Shikamaru didn’t even have time to go out for missions, and Naruto definitely felt the pain. Even though Shikamaru’s assistant, Yurito, was doing part of the work, it was not enough. 

“Yurito, where are the mission reports from last night?” Naruto question Yurito, there were stacks of documents, reports, proposals, shinobi profiles, mission requests and who knows what else littered around the office. The piles on the desk nearly blocked Naruto’s view of the door he was supposed to be facing.

Yurito did not hold the prior experience of doing desk work, but he was already familiar enough with how Shikamaru organised it all. Recently having graduated from the academy, he was obviously excited about the whole becoming shinobi ordeal but unfortunately, he was needed in the office. It just so happened that Yurito became a temporary aid to Shikamaru. 

“Senpai, I’m going for my break! I’ll be back.” The enthusiasm seeped out of him in waves. Naruto enjoyed the other’s company, he was a talkative fellow, similar to Naruto. Some would call his enthusiasm as naïve as Naruto’s once was, but Naruto considered it to be the aid’s greatest strength. Naturally, Naruto has never seen Yurito fight, so he had no idea about his true strength. 

Yurito would often talk about his academy days, his classmates, and friends and as such, they were stories that Naruto greatly enjoyed hearing. In turn, Yurito would ask for Naruto’s stories of his Genin and academy days. 

Naruto gladly recounted those days when he was a mere 11-year-old who, in hindsight, survival was a miracle in itself. It could very well be because of his stupid luck, as so many others would phrase it, but Naruto thought there was more to it than sheer luck. Although he was unable to come up with a viable conclusion, he was still proud of his younger self who managed to surpass all of the obstacles that crossed him. 

Reading was never Naruto’s strongest suit. He hated it even at the academy, he passed the written Chunin exam by not writing anything, when he was travelling with Jiraya the only times he read anything was when the old Sennin wanted Naruto to check over his work, and even that wasn’t often. The reason for this was simple. Reading made him sleepy.

Sitting alone, reading the complicated paperwork in silence did not help the sleep-deprived shinobi. He struggled with sleep enough as it was, but it only got worse with time as Naruto’s fear grew. He was scared of falling asleep, especially in the dark where he was afraid of the phantoms hiding in the shadows. This only grew in intensity with the passage of time. The result was that he only allowed himself to fall asleep when it was bright enough outside, after which he only ever got a few measly hours of sleep, leading to his current sleep deprivation. 

With it still being somewhat light outside, Naruto felt relaxed. Not enough to let him fall asleep, but enough to not feel the chills creep upon him. 

He decided to finish the last document he was on and take a break, maybe go practice. That would be good, it would help exhaust him, wake him up a bit, free up some space in his stomach. Ichiraku sounded good as it was, after training it would only go up a level. 

By the time Naruto finished with the document, the sky was blood red, the sun was slowly making its descent, creating room for the moon and the darkness that followed it. 

He had not realised that so much time has passed already, was it because it was already winter? 

A heavy sigh escaped him as Naruto leaned back in his squeaky chair. Looking at the ceiling, he saw the shadows dancing, mutations of the objects inside and outside the room. 

Closing and opening his eyes, Naruto slapped his cheeks and jumped out of the chair, ready to go tell Yurito off for taking such long breaks. No wonder Shikamaru had so much paperwork to do, his assistant was busy taking his breaks! 

Silence greeted him like a long-lost friend when he left the office. The hallways were full of obscure shadows, the sky outside bled out. Where was everyone? It couldn’t have possibly gotten that late in such a short span of time. 

Never mind, he still has time before Ichiraku closes, the clenching in his stomach was surely hunger. Not fear. Definitely not. There is nothing that he should be afraid of.

Footsteps echoed through the corridor as Naruto walked, his steps longer and quicker the further he walked. Incited by the fire lit in the horizon, the shadows danced as if to a slow, mocking tune. 

Naruto didn’t look. He saw it anyway.

He almost broke into a run but stopped himself before he could. He was not afraid of some shadows.

“Naruto.” The voice made Naruto freeze in his tracks. He felt the chill spread throughout his body like a disease. Cold air blew by his face, the sharpness of it felt like a kunai slicing across his cheek. He could see the condensed air, felt the presence behind him standing almost as if they were connected, but he couldn’t feel the heat of the body that stood against him.

“Naruto.” He didn’t want to hear it, but his hands were paralyzed by his side, his legs refused to cooperate and shook like falling leaves in the wind. Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut. 

There was a bang on the door at the end of the hallway.

“Naruto, are you happy?” He knew the words that were going to follow. It was a constant sequence that played out nightly, it would be weird if Naruto didn’t know what the man was going to say next. 

The banging was getting closer, it travelled through the walls.

“It was not my destiny to die.” An ice-cold hand travelled at an agonizingly slow pace up Naruto’s arm. Even through his jacket, Naruto could feel the scorching cold trail the hand left in its wake. 

It was as if hundreds of people were banging on the walls, scared, pleading for help.

“I should not have died on that day.” It stopped when it reached his shoulder, where the fingers bit down harshly into his skin, as easily as a knife through paper. Naruto hissed. “That day, I could have lived, but you hesitated,” The face came closer, lips touching Naruto’s ear, whispering a curse that haunted Naruto since that day. “and I died.”

Suddenly, the pounding ceased.

Naruto felt himself shudder, the hand held him firmly in place, he felt blood glide down his chest as the fingers dug deeper into his flesh. The ghost’s hand moved away from his shoulder and gently traced the features on Naruto’s face, he could feel the ghastly hands leaving trails of blood in their wake before the hand pulled his head back till he was once again staring at the ceiling. 

The apparition’s long hair flowed down like black ink on a piece of parchment. Even through the bloody darkness that enshrouded the two, Naruto could see the eyes, no, hollow holes where the eyes should have been, staring straight at him behind the hair. 

Maybe he did not so much as see the empty sockets, as he simply felt the other’s stare. Naruto knew what happened to those who possessed the Kekkei Genkai once they die. For those who had a visual jutsu, they had their eyes dug out.

The scarlet light splattered across the ceiling.

The hand and shoulder were planks of wood locking his neck in place, Naruto waited for a phantom blade to come down, slicing his head off, separating his body in two. A clean execution.

“You killed me.” The blade was swift.

A bang reverberated through Naruto’s body, jolting him awake. 

Frantically looking around, Naruto found himself alone back in the office, bright light seeped into the room, a knocking sounded at the door. Naruto cleared his throat before the called for the person to enter, using it as a chance to get out of his chair. He needed some fresh air to rid him of the metallic smell that seemed to have bonded with his very body.

Sakura walked into the room, her gleaming smile a stark contrast to the gloomy bangs under her eyes. 

“Hello, Panda-chan!” Naruto called enthusiastically. In all honesty, he was happy to see her and he was not about to hide it. 

“Naruto!” Her intention was probably to tell him off, Naruto knew, but the grin she had plastered on her face has not disappeared since she entered the room. 

“I was going to report a matter to Kakashi-sensei and I thought we could go out for a meal. You need a break, and it’s a matter you may be aware of already.” Even with the smile, Naruto saw the seriousness in her eyes. 

Kakashi was in his office when they arrived. The room looked no better than Naruto’s did, but that was to be expected since it was only the three of them who were handling the official documents. Normally there wouldn’t be a need for so many people, but with everything that has happened in the past year, it was no surprise. Till this day, some areas after Pain’s attack remained in ruins, with Shikamaru working on it, most of those regions have been rebuilt a couple of months after the war. 

“So? What brings you two here?” Kakashi stared at the two, knowing that there’s extra work coming his way.

“There have been incidents of Hidden Leaf shinobi going missing.” While totally inappropriate, Naruto felt a spark of excitement bubbling inside at the prospect of a mission. Naturally, he heard about the matter at the same time Sakura did. Ino had told them about an ex-shinobi customer at her family’s flower store that had gone missing a few weeks prior. When the old man retired from his shinobi days long before the war started, he became a travelling merchant. Apparently, there have been a couple more ex-shinobi in the area who have gone missing in the past few weeks.

After hearing about it, Sakura decided to investigate deeper into the matter. She knew that Ino wouldn’t have brought up the matter if it wasn’t serious. 

Looking at the two, Kakashi leaned forward on his desk. “So, you noticed it too, Sakura.”

“You were already aware of it, Kakashi-sensei?” 

“Yes. But why were you investigating something like that?” As if to say that she’s busy enough as it is.

“Well, there’s a regular at Ino’s family’s flower sho-“ A distant explosion interrupted her. Shocked, the three turned to look out of the window in the direction the explosion came from. Black smoke rose from one of the gates to the Hidden Leaf village facing.

Naruto had a bad feeling about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a disturbance at the gates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used some dialogue from episode 484, so please bear in mind that not all of it is mine. I changed a few details, and don't worry, I don't plan to change the POV to Sasuke's, I want to write this from what I imagine happened in the village while Sasuke was solving the issue on his own. Ultimately, I want to use Sasuke's Story (the small "arc"?) to further the plot and reference Shikamaru's Story for some characters to develop "off-screen", because I want the story to be mainly about Naruto and after a while Sasuke, but I like for the other characters to get some sort of development as well. I'm sorry if I made this confusing, but please bear with me haha.
> 
> Disclaimer: Naruto or any of the characters don't belong to me.

Complete panic. People running; screaming; a few of those who were wounded were already being taken care of by the Security Unit who were stationed to watch the gate; the others were already engaging the perpetrators. The five rogue attackers were deflecting any attacks that were aimed at them.

“Why are they only defending?” Naruto noticed after watching the fight for a few minutes. Sakura stood to his side and they both rushed to aid the unit when they saw the youngest member receive a long slash on his arm.

“Wait!” Stopped by Ino, the two looked at her for an explanation; she looked shocked as she looked on at one of the attackers. 

“Choji . . . Hinata?” They must have come back from a mission moments before and came rushing back once they heard the explosion. Choji looked to be on guard; he knew better than to underestimate an enemy and kept a keen eye on the enemy that was almost through the gate. Hinata stood confidently with a firm look in her eyes, the old shyness and insecurities gone. War really does change people.

“What’s happening?” Sakura questioned. She looked at Ino for an explanation, but the latter simply stood there, eyes not leaving the fight happening in front of them.

“It can’t be . . .” Everyone turned to look at her. Ino pointed to an elderly man, one of the attackers, who lead the other four as they advanced towards the gate. The Security Unit backed up, trying not to make any rash movements. “Mr Tadaichi . . . That’s Mr Tadaichi!” 

“Mr Tadaichi? You mean your regular from the flower shop?” Ino could only nod in confirmation.

“Are you sure, Ino?” Choji turned to look at her. He trusted her, immensely, but he heard about Tadaichi’s disappearance and was aware that he was loyal to the Leaf, so it was hard to believe that he would now be leading an attack on the village.

“There’s no mistake! But he’d never turn against the Hidden Leaf! So why?” 

“Does that mean that he could be under some Genjutsu?” Hinata offered.

With a realisation, Sakura continued, “And the others could be the ones who went missing!” 

“What?!” It never crossed Naruto’s mind that the missing people would now be attacking the village.

“Then, these are Hidden Leaf shinobi?” He should already be used to it, especially after everything that happened during the war, but Choji found it hard to fight his allies, Genjutsu or not. While he was able to overcome this hurdle, he still struggled with it mentally.

“That’s why we can’t do anything other than defending!” One of the guards fighting the hostile shinobi threw out a kunai, in an attempt to stop their advancement. It pierced Tadaichi in a non-vital spot, but the man didn’t stop, as if he did not feel the pain from the wound, no, as if he hasn’t even noticed that he got hurt. 

“He didn’t even dodge.” Naruto knew that there was no way that a shinobi, even a retired shinobi like Tadaichi, wouldn’t be able to dodge such a simple and straightforward attack. 

After advancing until he was right at the gate, the group stopped their movement. Tadaichi, eyes now an eery red sent chills down Naruto’s back, looked down at the kunai protruding from he left shoulder, grabbed it, and pulled the entire blade down his body. His face made no indication as to any pain he should have felt in that moment, there was no hesitation in his movement. Blood spilt like a waterfall from the gaping wound, staining the stone under his feet a sinister red.

Ino clasped her hand over her mouth in shock. “Doesn’t he feel any pain?” Sakura was already used to blood and all the gory details; she was a medic ninja during the war, she saw worse wounds than this. 

A small wince managed to escape her. Just because she was used to it, doesn’t mean she didn’t imagine the enormous amount of pain that such a wound would inflict on a person.

The man’s body started twitching violently before black protrusions started appearing on his body. They expanded rapidly all over his body and grew in size, ripping through clothes, to the point where after a few seconds it was hard to tell that it was once a human being, even then, it didn’t stop. 

“This is bad.” Naruto used the Shadow Clone Jutsu to summon two other clones as he ran forward to grab the three members of the Security Unit and jumping away from the range of the dangerous jutsu.

It grew, grew to the size of a massive black sphere. The light from the centre made for an eery sight, as it lit up the organs that made for its centre, the young shinobi watched the rhythmic movement of the sphere increase in speed.

Naruto managed to get the three shinobi out of the way before the thing that was once Tadaichi exploded. He could feel the heat on his calves, the scattering pieces of wood and stone from the gate whistled as they scattered in all directions, some wounding the other four enemies that were standing not far from Tadaichi.

“He’s an exploding human!” Naruto exclaimed. His shadow clones disappeared in puffs of smoke once they made sure the guards were a safe distance away. 

“It’s okay, let’s go tend to the wounded.” Sakura quickly consoled Ino before the two rushed to help the wounded.

“Naruto, Hinata! They’re getting in!” Choji brought attention back on the attackers. 

“Byakugan!” Hinata concentrated on watching the situation fold out.

Once they entered, the black substance started spreading through their bodies, in the same way, it did to Tadaichi. The three shinobi could do nothing but watch in horror as the missing shinobi morphed into one giant, pulsating bomb.

“It’s too big!” They all knew that once that thing exploded, it would do a lot of damage to the surrounding area. 

“Choji, can you bring out your wings with your expansion?” Ino came running over once she saw what was happening, the wounded were being tended to by Sakura and since their injuries weren’t severe, both of them figured that Ino was needed here more.

“G-got it!” Choji nodded and gobbled down the rest of the potato chips – forgotten moments before – he was holding. With that, he felt full of energy and used his Expansion Jutsu, which in turn brought out the majestic blue wings. 

With little time left, the bomb started pulsating at a rapid place, signalling that it was about to explode. Choji used the chakra wings to conjure up wind strong enough to blow the fire brought by the explosion – and the debris created by it – away from the village.

“I’ll help!” Naruto was ready at any moment to get involved. “Let’s go, Kurama!” Kurama started to wake up more frequently in recent days, Naruto was thankful that he had someone to share the boredom of doing paperwork with, in those times. Kurama was less than happy with the development. He, like Naruto, preferred the physical missions. 

While still rusty, Naruto managed to gather chakra to form the Rasengan in his right hand. Hinata had her Byakugan activated and having watched the events occur, she pointed Naruto to the centre of the storm formed by wind and fire. Naruto propelled himself forward, bringing the Rasengan forward to the spot pointed out by Hinata. 

His bandaged arm made in the centre and connected with something firm, destroying it. With the source gone, the fire disappeared into thin air, the gale created by Choji blew Naruto away a few inches before it too disappeared. 

Naruto thinks back to the sessions of tedious physical therapy and reminds himself that he should attend more of them, this time without skipping any. He should also add sparring to the schedule. The arm wasn’t used in proper combat previously, and Naruto felt the discomfort when he conjured up the Rasengan, he didn’t want that to happen in every fight.

Looking down, Naruto saw that the fire from the explosion burned away some of the bandages covering his right hand, exposing the deathly white skin underneath. Small wounds littered the hand, blood rose to the surface, but not enough to drip from the small scratches. Naruto felt the bile rise up at the mere sight, but he swallowed it back down and refused to look at the thing again. 

There was a reason he had it covered up. He hated the sight of it. The stark contrast of his warm skin and the paleness of the arm bothered him since the operation. The sickly colour only managed to conjure up the images of his friend lying dead in his arms; of the countless corpses strewn on the battlefields; of the detached bloody limbs. It was the colour of death. 

Naruto felt the fingers on his right-hand twitch, he didn’t look, but soon, it stopped so Naruto paid it no mind. It was enough that there was no serious damage done to it, otherwise, Sakura would be angry. He wasn’t sure why she would be if it was because he damaged the hand she and Tsunade-baa-chan worked so hard on or because he got hurt. It was probably the former, Naruto got hurt enough other the years and he had Kurama to help him heal. It was normal for a shinobi to be hurt. Nothing to get angry or fuss over.

“Did it help at all?” Choji sat exhausted on the ground, back to his original size, if not slightly thinner. 

Naruto walked over to him, Ino and Hinata stood further away, surveying the area. “Good job!” Naruto used his left hand – out of habit – to pat Choji on the shoulder and to help him up.

“There’s more!” Hinata called, she hasn’t stopped using the Byakugan, checking for anything suspicious. 

“There are more of them.” Ino pointed at another group of four appeared further from the destroyed gate. 

“Naruto-kun!” Hinata ran over. “Getting wounded is probably what causes them to explode. I saw strange chakra being released from the wound, and the body began to change shape.” She has watched the exchange from beginning to end, at first, she wasn’t sure, but the more she watched, the more her certainty grew. 

“That means we’ll have to be careful how we engage them.” Naruto made eye contact with Hinata. “Can you see if anyone is controlling them?” He should have asked at the beginning, but there was no time, so he didn’t think about it then.

“I’ve been looking for any sign of them and I didn’t see anyone.” 

“No one?!” They were all shocked. A Genjutsu user had to be nearby to be able to properly control the targets. “Then how are they being manipulated?” Once again, Ino voiced everyone’s thoughts. 

Hinata continued, “There’s a strange chakra moving around in their bodies. Maybe that’s what’s controlling them.” 

“So, we just have to take the chakra away?” Naruto scratched his head.

“The chakra is circulating like it's part of their body. The chakra could be fused internally.” It was a clear no. 

“So, we can’t just peel it away easily.” If they couldn’t do that, what could they do to stop them? They could only capture them. “It’ll be hard to capture them without inflicting any wounds.” Naruto saw Sakura coming back.

“I have an idea!” Having heard what was said, Sakura was aware of what was happening. “Naruto, if you use your clones to stop the exploding humans from walking off, Choji will be able to hold them if he uses his Expansion Justsu on his hands and then Hinata will pierce their critical chakra points so they won’t be able to move.” 

“They won’t be able to move for a day,” Hinata informed them. That will be more than enough time to capture and immobilise the group somewhere, where they won’t endanger anyone. That, in turn, will allow for Sakura and the other medical ninja to work on saving the captured shinobi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto waits for a reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if I made any mistakes in this chapter, or if anything sounds clunky.  
> Disclaimer: as always, Naruto belongs to Kishimoto; any portrayal of mental illness may be inaccurate or dramatised.

After the capture, the unconscious shinobi were brought in to be examined. Ino and Choji were sent urgently with Temari to aid Shikamaru in his mission to rescue Sai, before the two could find out any further details about the exploding humans. Sai was initially sent as an undercover to gather information about the shinobi who have betrayed deserted their country during the war. Sai went missing and Shikamaru was sent to save him. No one else, other than the ones involved, knew this information.

It was Sakura’s job to examine the four shinobi, which lead her to discovered that her Genjutsu Reversal had no effect against the special type of chakra circulating in their bodies. 

Kakashi consolidated Sakura. “Don’t be depressed.” He brought his hand down to pat her head. “Whoever did it, that’s a Genjutsu unknown to us. It has to be the work of someone with extraordinary skill. So, it will require someone with exceptional Visual Jutsu powers.” Naruto and Sakura perked up at the statement. 

“Visual Jutsu?” Naruto asked. He looked Kakashi expectantly in the eyes, not blinking in case he missed something.

“Good observation!” Kakashi pointed at Sakura and laughed. Naruto obviously missed something.

“I-I didn’t say anything!” Sakura exclaimed, a violent red blush blossomed all the way up from her neck to her cheeks and ears. He finally understood what the two meant. Naruto knew just how deep her love for Sasuke ran and it pained him to see it. He saw himself in her in a way that he would never admit to anyone. At least she could be open about her feelings, Naruto denied himself that right. After all, Sasuke was his best friend. The title mocked Naruto every time. 

“Didn’t say what?” Naruto teased. Before he knew it, Sakura’s gloved fist made contact with his stomach.

“Don’t ask!” He was fully aware that he shouldn’t have teased her, but he couldn’t help it. He laughed, clenching his stomach. The punch wasn’t enough to bruise.

“We may not be able to see anything, but the one who possesses both the Sharingan and Rinnegan just might.” He looked at Sakura, then at Naruto. “I’ll call Sasuke back.” He said as he thought about who he should push the task onto. No, assign. 

“Sasuke’s gonna come back!” Naruto couldn’t stop his heart from pounding violently against his ribcage. He was happy, but looking at the relieved Sakura, he couldn’t help but feel dejection and worry. 

_What if the one Sasuke wants to see the most is not him?_

No, he shouldn’t be thinking about this. No matter what happened, Sakura and Sasuke will always be his best friends. He wasn’t willing to let his petty feelings get in the way of their friendship. He was going to support his friends with all he had.

+++

Kakashi ordered Naruto to send a message through a messenger bird, calling for Sasuke to return to the Leaf and informing him about the exploding humans. Naruto did so, expecting a reply to arrive within a day, the usual amount of time it took. It didn’t. 

Two days and there was still no reply, the bird had not come back, either. If the bird couldn’t find Sasuke it would have already come back, carrying the initial letter. It didn’t. Was Sasuke in danger? Was the bird killed before it reached Sasuke? Before it came back with Sasuke’s reply? 

It was important for communication to be quick, especially in times of emergency. To help with this, each hidden village trained their own special bird to carry their messages, in a way that would be fast and reliable. A bird taking this long would usually be worrying, but Kakashi assured Naruto that it was nothing to worry about; Sasuke was probably a long-distance away.

All sorts of scenarios played through Naruto’s head, on repeat. He knew that he was overthinking it, but his mind couldn’t stop creating these almost nightmarish scenarios. Naruto was aware that Sasuke was strong, extremely strong, so he shouldn’t be worried about his safety. What if it wasn’t about Sasuke’s safety that Naruto was worried about? Maybe what Naruto was really worried about is Sasuke leaving them, him, again? 

To take his mind off of his worries Naruto spent most of his day training in one of the training fields furthest from the village. He could have gone to the hospital for a rehabilitation session, but he was more comfortable being outside, where the stench of death wasn’t so prominent.

Since the initial attack, there have been no more signs of the enemy. Everyone was constantly on guard, Kakashi ordered all of the higher-ranked shinobi to keep an eye out and replaced the lower-ranked with more experienced shinobi to do their guarding duty in case an attack did come. In order to avoid panic among the public, Kakashi didn’t go into detail when informing the villagers about the attack. 

Of course, people still asked Naruto about the details whenever they saw him. Naruto’s reply consisted of a smile and reassurance that everything was under control. Of course, they believed him. They never question anything and believe with everything they’re told. Just like when he was excluded from everything as a child. Just like the Uchiha were isolated because of the rumours that they were dangerous. Of course.

Naruto didn’t know where this sudden hostility came from. He wasn’t really angry with the people in the village, it wasn’t their fault, after all. They simply trusted the people that lead them. 

Maybe it was the stress. The lack of sleep. The . . . whatever that was happening.

His right hand wasn’t helping, either. Since the attack, there were points at which he simply lost the ability to move his fingers. He should go to Sakura with it, but he was reluctant. He can’t go now when the village was attacked, they didn’t know when they will be attacked again. It was his responsibility to protect them. At least, he felt like it was. He wouldn’t be able to do that if he’s stuck in the hospital, being examined, watched over. 

Moreover, if there was really something wrong, Naruto was confident that the Nine-Tails’ ability will be able to heal him. This has always been the case, so Naruto had no reason to believe otherwise.

It was the third day before they received a reply. The relief that flooded Naruto at the knowledge that nothing was wrong nearly overwhelmed the frustration he felt when Kakashi showed Sakura and him the content of Sasuke’s reply.

_‘Encountered exploding humans. Will investigate independently. Please approve.’_

Why was Naruto frustrated, really? It has always been the norm for Sasuke to do everything on his own, independently, to never rely on his friends. He has always been like that, even when they were Genins. Naruto felt utterly useless because of it. That he wasn’t strong enough to be relied on. 

“That idiot!” Sakura voiced everyone’s thoughts.

“Maa, maa. Sasuke is strong enough to be able to handle it on his own.” Kakashi evidently intended to let Sasuke investigate independently. Naruto should have known. “We can focus on fortifying our defences in case they attack again while letting Sasuke on the offensive. We are lacking manpower as it is, it only makes sense for Sasuke to investigate, who excels in espionage.” What he said made sense, Naruto knew, but that didn’t stop his stubbornness from making him cling to that frustration.

Kakashi knew this part of Naruto, too, so he paid him no further mind. He turned to Sakura, enquiring about any further discoveries she could have gained after examining the captured ex-shinobi.

There wasn’t much more than what they learned from the initial examination. Sakura felt disappointed in herself for not being able to provide any useful information. She was a proud individual. 

“Don’t worry about it, Sakura-chan. This isn’t something we have encountered before.” She knew that Naruto was right. While she may have almost perfected her medical skills during her experience as a medic in the war, she desired more. She desired all of the knowledge that came with the profession. She wasn’t willing to let this one unknown factor hold her back. Even if it meant spending months in the library or weeks studying the explosive humans, she was going to learn and perfect the art of medical ninjutsu. Maybe one day she will be able to overcome her Master.

The two left Kakashi’s office together. Naruto was intending to use this bit of free time to go to Ichiraku’s for some ramen. 

“Naruto, how’s your arm doing? You haven’t been in rehab for the past few days.” He wasn’t expecting Sakura to ask. He should have, she was his doctor, after all. He didn’t want to tell her about the occasional loss of touch in his fingers, but he knew the consequences of lying to Sakura. Naruto wasn’t sure why exactly he wanted to keep it a secret. It would do him no harm to have Sakura examine it. 

“Aah, it’s not too bad, y’know? Just uh . . .” He wasn’t sure what he should say. Sakura looked at him, expectantly. Her keen eyes not leaving his face. Naruto let out a sigh and scratched his head with his left hand. “Sometimes, just sometimes, not often, I can’t move or feel my fingers.” He admitted. 

“Why didn’t you tell me before?!” He knew that Sakura wasn’t going to be happy, but it was better to tell her than if she were to find out herself through other means. 

“I thought it would pass! I promise I was going to come to you if it didn’t.” Naruto defended himself, his signature goofy grin ever-present. 

“Come with me, I have some free time.” Sakura caught Naruto’s wrist before he could even think of escaping and dragged him to her office at the hospital. Naruto was less than happy to be there, but he complied. Seems like Ichiraku was a no-go.

Sakura warned him to listen for once. Naruto wanted to argue that, he always listened when it mattered. Apart from the time Sakura spoke to him about Hashirama cells and an arm and stuff, that was too much for Naruto to grasp and he just nodded along. As a result, he found out about the right arm that was prepared for him on the day the operation was scheduled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto meets with his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy!

Sakura walked back into the room, notes in hand.

“None of the results indicate that there’s anything wrong with your arm.” Naruto sat up in his chair. He didn’t understand. If there was nothing, then that was good, right? “I checked personally and there didn’t seem to be anything either. Naruto, how have you been? Before you start, I don’t mean physically.” She saw how worn out he look if the black bags under his eyes were any indication. 

At first, Sakura assumed it may have been because of the amount of work Naruto had to get done. Suspicions arose when she noticed how Naruto smiled less, spoke less, it wasn’t enough where one would usually pay special attention to it, but Sakura knew Naruto long enough that the small things caught her attention. Then there was that look in Naruto’s eyes when she walked into his office earlier in the day. Sakura never saw him so fear-stricken before in her life. 

For the longest time, in Sakura’s eyes, he was the strongest person she ever knew, he was fearless and able to overcome anything that got thrown at him. Then Jiraiya died and, for the first time ever, she saw Naruto break down. She didn’t know what to do; she never experienced anything like it and so she had no idea how to help him, as much as she wanted to.

Sakura wasn’t sure if there was a connection between one’s mental state and their body, there was no proof, no one has been given a chance like Naruto to regain a fully functional limb before. She wished for Naruto to be happy, arm or no arm. 

“What do you mean, Sakura-chan? Of course, I’ve been doing great.” Naruto rambled on, “Well, other than the amount of work Kakashi-sensei keeps throwing at me, y’know? I don’t think I’ve been getting much sleep recently.” He wasn’t lying, he told himself. None of it was a lie. “I’ve been so busy during the day, paperwork and training and missions and all, that it takes ages for my body to settle down at night! A-and by the time it does, I only get a few hours of sleep.” He carried on; the excuses stacked up. He was never a good liar, so Naruto rehearsed these lines other and other in his head before, so he thought he knew what to say and how to say it without directly lying. 

Sakura listened patiently and at the end, she looked away and gently shook her head. She knew very well that if Naruto didn’t want to talk, she couldn’t force him to. That would never work out, for anyone. 

“Let’s say I believe you. Just, if you need anything – anything – come to me?” Sakura sat down at her desk and looked Naruto in the eyes. He knew she was serious. She always wanted Naruto to open up, actually open up, and talk to people when he needed help. He was always there for any and all of his friends when they needed him; he deserved that, too.

“Naturally, I will! You know I always do.” If only Naruto held true to those words, Sakura sighed.

Shikamaru, Ino, Sai and Choji came back from their mission the next day. Temari has already returned to the Sand. They completed their mission two days ago, they had to stay back for a while longer to help with the formalities – Shikamaru in Kakashi’s place after receiving the latter’s reply – before coming back to the Leaf. 

Naruto was nothing but ecstatic to finally have Shikamaru back. While he managed to go through the largest bulk of work, he was bored alone. He planned to visit Hinata but once he stood in from of the Hyuuga compound, the confidence has escaped him and he no longer dared to go. Not wanting to bother the others, they were all busy, Naruto sulkingly attended his rehabilitation sessions before going out to train. 

Sakura managed to rope Lee into helping Naruto with his rehab sessions, by having friendly spars with the patient. Apparently, Lee has been helping the hospital a lot, they were also short staffed so Lee claimed that the least he could do was the manual labour. It helped him train, he said. 

Naruto thought that there was more to it. Bushy Brows probably wanted to spend more time with Sakura. When Naruto had brought it up to Lee, the other blushed before boldly admitting it. Naruto told Lee that he rooted for him. And he was. 

From Lee, Naruto found out that Tenten had been spending a lot of time with Hinata, the two seemed to get along very well, not like they didn’t before. The two went training together often, Lee would join them whenever he could. Naruto didn’t ask any more, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to know. How the two kunoichi were doing? How else could they be doing, after one’s cousin and the other’s closest friend was killed in battle? 

So many times, Naruto wanted to talk to Hinata, his guilt and shame wouldn’t let him. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to face Hinata, after all, Neji died because of him. Hinata nearly did, too. 

“Shikamaru! Ino, Choji, Sai!” Naruto called the small group over. They just came out of Kakashi’s office, having reported the details of their mission.

“Yo, Naruto!” Shikamaru held up his hand in greeting. Sai smiled at him and the other two stalled behind, bickering.

“Up for a meet up later? Barbeque?” Naruto was intending to invite his friends out a while ago but kept missing everyone. He was yet to invite the others, but he already made sure that none of them was out on a mission. It was the first time in months since they met up. “I already asked Sakura. She said she’ll invite the others.”

“Sure. It’s been a while since we last gathered.” Answered Shikamaru, the other three nodded in agreement. 

***

“Shino!” Everyone was already seated; they had to put some tables together to be able to fit all of them. Shino was the last to arrive. Naruto waved at him when he saw Shino walking into the restaurant. 

“You’re late!” They were waiting for everyone to get there before ordering, Choji was waiting impatiently. Shino sat next to Naruto – Shikamaru was on the other side – without uttering a word. Eyes turned to look at him in worry, but no one asked anything. They all knew that if Shino wanted to voice his worries, he’d do it. 

“How have you been, Shino?” Naruto turned to ask.

“Perplexed. Why? That is because I don’t know what to do.” Shino replied nonchalantly. He had thought it over alone but was unable to come up with an answer. Deciding to follow Torune’s advice, to rely on his friends, he thought to ask for advice.

“Don’t know what to do?”

“Yes. That is because you all have a goal to strive towards and I do not. It has been bothering me for a while now, and I would like your opinion on it. I seem to be getting nowhere alone. You, Naruto, always wanted to save Sasuke and become Hokage; Shikamaru’s aim is to aid Naruto in becoming Hokage; Sakura wants to surpass Tsunade; Sai to make friends. Everyone has something, yet I do not.”

“Now that you mention it, you were never the ambitious type.” Shikamaru joined in, “Not like I’m one to talk.”

“I always assumed you wanted to take over as the Head of the Aburame clan.” Said Ino, Sai nodded next to her.

“You really never spoke about yourself much.” Sakura chimed in as she finished ordering for everyone. “Even back in the academy, you were always quiet and hardly ever spoke to anyone.”

“Shino-kun, I’m sure that if you put your all into it, you’ll be able to achieve anything!” Lee exclaimed from next to Sakura. Naruto and Shikamaru looked at each other and grinned. They were long since discussing Lee’s intentions in wooing Sakura. Unlike when they were kids, Sakura seemed more receptive to Lee’s courting; apparently, they sometimes ate together during their work break.

“Shino-kun would make a great teacher,” Hinata spoke up, not at the same volume as everyone else, but loud enough to be heard. Everyone quieted down and turned to look at her. “He would always help Kiba-kun and me whenever we were struggling during training.” Still not used to the attention, her face could not have turned a deeper shade of red if she tried.

“You’re right!” Kiba exclaimed, way too loud in comparison to Hinata’s gentle tone. “Shino! Have you thought about that? You always admired Iruka-sensei, didn’t you?” He was obviously excited. Kiba, like Hinata, has always worried about Shino. He liked to keep to himself a lot, so the two were happy that he was finally opening up. 

“I am unsure. Why? That is because I am not good with kids.” 

“You like them, don’t you? Kids, I mean.” Choji said absentmindedly. The food had just arrived, and he was already eating his portion. He was starving since he just came back from training with Ino and Shikamaru.

Shino looked down in contemplation. It didn’t look like he was going to continue speaking.

“Speaking of, Sakura, weren’t you and Ino working on something together?” Sai was close to the two, so naturally, they have mentioned it to him before, but never in detail. Naruto looked up in interest, he hadn’t heard about this before.

“We are still in the early stages, but since I specialise in medicine and Ino in jutsu relating to the mind, we wanted to improve the care that shinobi received. Anbu are required to go through psychological examinations, but that needs to be improved and spread to the other ranks. We specifically want to focus on healing the mind.” Sakura looked at Naruto, but the other didn’t seem to notice her gaze. It was evident that everyone was interested in the topic, by the way that they stopped what they were doing and listened to what Sakura was saying.

“That’s true. Maybe with this, there will be less shinobi who retire early and those who suffer mental outbreaks.” Shikamaru thought out loud. Previously, for the longest time, there was an emphasis on healing the physical injuries. It has only been from the past few years that the focus has shifted towards the mental aspect, but it was still not enough. Much was unknown, and now Ino and Sakura wanted to improve the system, especially since they would be able to work with the other Hidden Villages if the need arose.

***

It was already late by the time everyone dispersed. Everyone seemed satisfied with the dinner – it was Naruto’s turn to pay – and that they all managed to catch up with their friends.

“Naruto-kun.” Naruto turned to face the direction from which the soft voice called from.

“Hinata-chan!” He wasn’t expecting her to call out to him. In fact, he was hoping that she wouldn’t.

“D-do you have a minute?” Naruto’s heart beat violently against his chest. He wasn’t sure what to expect, was she angry at him? He turned to look at Sakura, who stood next to him, but she only looked at him pointedly before excusing herself and leaving. 

“Sure, what’s up?” Hinata showed a small smile and beckoned for Naruto to follow her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter might be late, I have two assignments due next week haha


End file.
